The Unexpected

Having had arthroscopic meniscus repair surgery myself back in January of 2016, I encouraged Randa to do the same thing after an MRI showed hers was torn. It’s been a couple of weeks now since her surgery and her knee seems to be improving pretty well. Last night, she walked “normally” up all seventeen steps to the bedroom for the first time since her surgery.

What has not improved nearly as much was something that caught us both completely by surprise.

After she came home and the anesthesia had completely worn off, she became aware of significant pain in her upper thigh. Accompanied by a fair amount of swelling. A bit of online research identified the cause: aftereffects of tourniquet use during surgery. Until then, we’d never even heard of tourniquet application for arthroscopic meniscus repair!

If my surgeon used one, there wasn’t the slightest indication of it after my procedure. One of my sisters also had meniscus repair and said she was never aware that they had used one on her. Neither Randa’s surgeon nor anyone on his staff had given any warning or advice about the afterwards. The nurse who Randa talked to over the phone two days after the surgery confirmed a tourniquet had been used. Several different online sources indicated the after-effects could be very painful and could last for up to six months after the surgery.

Maybe Randa’s body responded differently than mine. It was nearly a week later before the visible damage really showed up. Her thigh looked like shed been kicked by a horse. Repeatedly! Big blue bruises on the inside and outside of her leg and right behind her knee. They’ve finally begun to fade slightly but the swelling and soreness are still there. Of course, she expected her knee would be sore after the surgery. But this other, it’s been a complete surprise.

It’s not the first situation we’ve been in where there turned out to be more involved than what we expected. Might well be one of those things you’d never have done if you’d known ahead of time what you were getting into. But so far—and we’re not expecting anything different this time—God has gotten us through every one of those. He has never been caught off guard by anything that’s ever happened to us and has never failed to supply more than we needed to get through it.

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Good Therapy

My wife Randa recently had arthroscopic surgery to trim out a couple of torn spots on the meniscus of her right knee. A week ago, she began the benevolent affliction of physical therapy. Having benefitted from the same process for the same reason myself several years ago, I’ve been quite supportive and encouraging. Well, at least by my standards…

After dropping Randa off at the therapy center last week, I left to take care of the grocery shopping. Being somewhat familiar with the grocery store layout and minimizing my loitering in tools and hardware, I made it back a few minutes before her session ended. I walked in and sat down near the door. The waiting area at the location offers a clear view into the gym or therapy area. While Randa was finishing up her current torture stint, I noticed another woman getting ready to leave.

She picked up her purse and her jacket, then appeared to say goodbye to a couple of staff members. I’d guess the woman’s age in the area of mid-to-late-fifties. A twenty-something female therapist walked with her several steps toward the waiting area. They stopped about seventy-five feet away from me and the older woman hung her purse over one shoulder. They joined hands and bowed their heads. In turn, I saw each of them moving her lips, as if praying.

They finished and then hugged each other. Both began walking toward me. When they were about twenty feet away, the younger therapist walked slightly to my right and entered the office. The therapy patient walked straight toward me and stopped just a few feet away at the patient access glass.

She leaned in slightly toward the opening and spoke to the other woman, “Thank you so much for praying. That really helps me.” She nodded in appreciation of the “You’re welcome,” and then headed on past me and out the door.

I smiled slightly in my reflections on what I had just witnessed. In the absence of any laws or regulations prohibiting or prescribing any sort of spiritual or religious practice, two people had just joined each other in supplication of their perceived Higher Power. No threats, no theatrics, no concern for making political statements.

Over the past few decades, Randa and I have made it a normal practice to quietly offer thanks for our food when we dine out. Same on most occasions when I’m out with friends and family who are also believers. Not one time has anyone else around us made any comment one way or another.

Which is precisely how it should be, I think, in a country where people claim to value freedom of religion.

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Of Rocks and Ripples

Near the northwest corner of our farm in western Kentucky, there was a small woods. Probably no more than an acre of so of hickory, oak, and ash, with a scattering of scrub brush and maybe a dogwood or two. Inside that small plot of trees was an even smaller pond.

If memory serves me well, and it still does from time to time, the pond was oval shaped, about fifty feet across and a hundred feet long. Though I never measured, I would guess that it was not more than six feet deep in its center. Surrounded by trees, the water was stained by the accumulated years of leaves decomposing at its bottom. A hint of bronze color tinted its clear water. Located near the top of the slope, it was never the muddy color of the bigger pond that Dad hired dug over between one of the tobacco barns and the hay barn.

Sometimes, I would go up to the little pond and pitch rocks in for the sole purpose of watching the ripples spread out across the water. Perfect circles of concentric motion spreading across the surface and moving all the way to the banks. I noticed that the ripples always made it to the closest bank first but eventually reached all sides. And then, each time, the ripples would get smaller and smaller and then gradually fade out. When the surface was once again calm and smooth, I’d pitch in another rock.

Sometimes, I’d pitch in two rocks at different spots and watch their respective ripples move out. In the space in between, they’d intersect and seem to move through each other, only slightly diminished by the collision. Other times, I’d get the biggest rock I could find and heave it out as far as I could. The bigger the rock, the bigger the ripples. Of course, right where the big rocks entered the water, they’d create something like an explosion. With a loud “kerplunk,” they sunk rapidly and sent up a plume of water at the spot. Then, the ripples.

At some point, I got the idea of tossing out a dry stick and trying to hit it with a big rock to see if I could sink it. Nope, never could. Even though it might get really socked and bob up and down, I was never able to sink a stick with even the biggest rock.

Recently, those memories of rocks and ripples resonated with the news that Randa’s brother had just been diagnosed with cancer. A couple of months earlier, my first wife and the mother of my six children found out she has cancer in pretty advanced stage. Several months ago, a member of a church where I used to preach. Over the years, there’d been others: my grandfather Pop Herndon when I was just eleven or twelve years old, Randa’s dad Scottie Burleson when he was only sixty-three. My first father-in-law back in the Eighties. My oldest sister about ten years ago. Parents of friends and folks I knew at church. Friends and colleagues. Some have survived, some have not.

Each time, the news hit like a rock plunging into a quiet pond. The closer the relationship, the bigger the splash and the longer the ripples last. Sometimes it’s just another disruption and sometimes it feels like the rock landed right on top of you.

In every case, I am reminded of my own mortality and the nature of nature in this world. Each splash, each ripple, a measure of relationship and empathy and caring. Each stone brings its own testings into the waters; each splash reveals the nature of our own faith and resilience.

One day, every stone will lie quiet beneath the water, anchored into the ongoing transformation of leaves and silt far beneath the surface. Every ripple will have faded into the banks.

Yet I will still give thanks for every moment and every memory, still praise the One Who Walks Upon the Waters. And take comfort from the voice that calmed the seas.

Posted in Christian Devotions, Death & Dying, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Poetic Contemplations, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Of Rocks and Ripples

The Richest Green

The richest green I’ve ever seen
was in the spring in Ole Kentucky.
When the morning sun
wrapped around the barn
and burnished its warming light
right along the sides,

all that fescue and whatever else
had held true to its hiding roots
saw those fresh, new shoots
showered in the gleam
of low-angled light
sheening the fresh bright of growth.

While it is true that all of grass
has but a passing glory,
it is still a glory, nonetheless,
and though the very best of spring
will feel the scorching sting of summer,
and the certain equity of frost
will come each fall
and bring forth the loss of each cold winter,
each season holds its cost and its beauty.

Duty will yield its proper due
and the brightest hues of each season
give reason enough for both plowing and planting,
the sweat of sowing and tending the growing
to bring forth the fruit of harvest,
food for the farmer and seed for the hope
that comes with each spring’s glorious sun,
and that glowing sheen
that crowns the bowing grass
in the low-angled pass of morning’s bright sun
until all of Earth’s work is done.
Posted in Christian Devotions, Farming, Gardening, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Poetic Contemplations, Poetry, Spiritual Contemplation, Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Richest Green

A Bit That Fits

After several days of strong winds and chilly temps,
we welcome the pleasant change of calm and warmth
that came on the last Saturday morning in March.

Ken and Medina have flown themselves in
from California to northeast Kansas
to check out Randa’s Tennessee Walker.
“I know it’s a long way but there’s just something about him
than draws me to him,” Medina explains.

Maybe it’s not so much explanation as confession.
I’ve had it happen myself with horses, dogs, and people,
something other than logic and physics
to account for the sometimes-mystical attractions we feel.

Ken and I sit on the concrete ledge near the round pen,
exploring common threads in the fabric of our lives
while Randa and Medina worked with the lean black gelding.
Handling a horse like this takes the patience of a mother
and a welded backbone as well.

Something in his particular blending of genetics
and history has made Jazz more than a bit leery
and it takes a sure hand that is gentle and firm
and a sharp, sensitive eye for noticing
and interpreting the sometimes-subtle indications
of what a horse is thinking—and about to do.

He did not respond all that well to the first lifting of the saddle:
ears back and head lifted up in rapid motions,
stepping back and shifting his rear end one way
and then another.

It’s the bit that gives him the biggest fit, though.
A constant pushing of the tongue and shaking his head,
trying to rid himself of the discomfort in his mouth.

Medina puts on her helmet but has second thoughts
about getting on right away.

After several minutes of this,
Ken suggests “Take the saddle and bridle off
and give him a break.
Come back later after he’s settled a bit and try him again.”

I have seen from time to time
in these seven decades of mine
that an offer of rest for even a short while
can yield both strength and inclination
to better deal with some testing or trial.
Interrupting the inertia of resistance
can make persistence more productive:
An ounce of patience is better than a pounding.

An hour later, re-saddled and with a bit that better fit,
Jazz was gaiting Randa around the round pen
as if he’d just been waiting for a chance to do it again.

And I was reminded that the wisdom of watching
and taking measure of how others are reacting,
mixed in with at least a modicum of empathy,
can often lead to better experience
on both sides of the saddle.
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Sifting through the Ashes

After a year or two of piling
old branches, stormfall deadwood,
un-salvaged barn renovation casualties,
a scrap or two of leftover railroad ties,
and at least one section sawn from the length
of a deeply split and roughly weathered telephone pole,
I set the whole pile on fire on a late afternoon
in the middle of March.

Fiercely red flames swayed and shimmied twenty feet high
in an un-mortared chimney lifted toward the sky
by the heated updraft sorting through
warbling shafts of light breeze
as the fringe of the fire scorched a circle
in the dried leaves of oak, elm, and catalpa,
ending at the edge of the grass I’d burned a week before.

A few days later, after the last bit of buried embers
had died beneath the gray, powdery remnants,
I combed through the remains of the fire,
using rake and magnet to find anything that might damage a tire.

At the end of a thirty-inch handle,
two strong magnets
set in a circle of stainless steel snapped up
whatever held an iron heart:
Nails, fence staples, bolts, screws, bits of metal fence,
small tacks, hinges, barb wire, a pitted spike, iron rods,
a threaded eyebolt fifteen inches long,
and a curved metal plate
that once listed everything the maker
wanted the company to know
about a utility pole.

With each sweep through the ashes,
I could hear and feel pieces of ferrous metal
snapped to the magnet by invisible yet undeniable forces.

I lifted up the trapped shapes
sprouting like Picasso’s sea urchin from the steel,
peeled and pulled everything away
and dropped it all into an old plastic bucket.

Hidden by the ashes,
outlasting their coats of rust and deeper corrosions,
notions of forged steel and stamped castings
were pulled and held by strong motion:

like ancient sinners drawn to The Prophet,
knowing that he will not approve of their lives,
yet somehow still drawn by more than fishes and loaves,
a vague, foggy notion of some force beyond their comprehension,

not yet realizing that the true measure of the Messiah
would be revealed in unfathomable dimensions of mercy
rather than the scorching torch of narrow-eyed judgment.
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Evening Seminar at River Bluffs Brewery & Art Gallery

In the fading end of a chilly first day of spring
and glad to be out of the wind,
two gray-bearded preachers sit next to a window,
sipping beer and waiting for their pizza order
from across the street.

This evening, they decided to meet
inside an old furniture warehouse/appliance store,
converted several years ago into something more benevolent:
a microbrewery at the corner of Thirteenth and Frederick
in Saint Joseph, Missouri.

There’s a fairly good chance—
if you’re interested in such circumstance—
that they are the only two dudes in the joint
who are discussing the theological implications
of art, music, and sunsets:

the way a painting can shift one’s focus,
the way a minor chord can elevate the spiritual
and emotional impact of a song,
and the way such distinct and contrasting colors
can fit together so perfectly in a storm sky sunset.

Not completely unlike
the way the contradicting events of our lives—
births and deaths, joys and sorrows, hurts and healings—
eventually blend into seamless meanings and beings
of all that is our journey.

Indifferent, and possibly oblivious
to all else that surrounds them,
the sounds of pulsing voices and passing cars,
they order a second round from the bar—
another stout, another something with more hops.

They take large bites from huge slices
of pepperoni and spicy sauce over thick yeasty crust,
sipping beer and pondering the source
of violent imaginations and pacifist interpretations,

and how in the world such simple pleasures
as pizza and beer can bring such nearness
of contemplation and satisfaction,
and giving thanks to the God
who has given us all good things.
Posted in Christian Devotions, Metaphysical Reflection, Music, Nature, Poetic Contemplations, Poetry, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Evening Seminar at River Bluffs Brewery & Art Gallery

Burn Ban

Well, friends, I almost yielded to temptation yesterday evening.

Okay, now, you wretches; get hold of your imaginations! It wasn’t anything lurid or atrocious. Heck, it’s only mildly interesting, at best. It certainly wasn’t scandalous though it would have, technically, I suppose, turned me into a lawbreaker. So, to prevent further speculation: I almost burned some leaves in my yard.

I had what seemed like pretty good reasons for my intended violation of the county’s burn ban: the wind was below ten miles an hour, humidity was steadily increasing in late evening, it was a small, piled row of leaves that would have burned up within fifteen minutes or so, the proposed burn area was surround by gravel or green grass, and I had a water hose at the ready with plenty of reach.

I’d set a can of accelerant on the patio and waited until dusk so the wind was at a minimum, the humidity was on the upswing, and… the smoke would have been minimally noticeable. Ahh, yes, there’s the rub, isn’t it? Apparent concern with being caught in violation of the burn ban.

I was trying to find that optimal point where both flames and smoke would be least visible. I even thought about parking a couple of our vehicles to block the view of the leaf pile from the highway. That’s the way it is with us wannabe criminals, isn’t it? Trying to minimize the likelihood of detection? Trying to enhance the odds of successful evasion?

Just before I was going to set the leaves on fire, I thought about the neighbors and my own indignation when other people ignore the burn ban. I guess everyone has reasons why they think it shouldn’t apply to them, don’t they? “I’ve disked a swath around the field.” “There’s nothing around here that will catch fire.” “The wind’s not even that strong.”

Whatever… the final thought that steered me away? I didn’t want to be that guy.

There was no way the neighbors wouldn’t notice the smoke at some point. Anyone driving by on the old road behind our place would probably see the flames, no matter how low. I don’t want the folks next door or nearby or just passing by to realize that I am a scofflaw.

And it was hardly a case of pulling an ox out of the ditch on the Sabbath. No redeeming necessity or higher purpose. The truth about my situation? I thought it would be easier to burn the leaves than to load them into the truck and haul them down the hill to the burn pile. Well, that, and the fact that I may be a pyromaniac.

There are all sorts of rationalizations readily available whenever we want to believe the rules or laws shouldn’t apply to us in certain situations. And, we can usually convince ourselves that we won’t get caught. Once we’ve generated our excuses and assured ourselves of our ability to get by with it, integrity and character are the only obstacles left in the way.

That reminded me of an old quote I remembered yesterday evening when I finally decided not to burn the leaves. “Character often gets credit for what properly belongs to cold feet.” Well, there ya go…

But, regardless of the true reasons or motivation, whatever keeps us from doing the wrong thing, is a good thing.

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Just As I Am

Singing this old hymn this past Sunday morning 
in a small congregation in northeastern Kansas
took me back nearly sixty years
to a small church in southwestern Kentucky.

On a Wednesday night in Pembroke,
in a new building with hardwood floors
and hardwood pews
and a Capella singing in the old style,

I felt even stronger a drawing toward the aisle,
the pressure that had been building in my chest
the last few times
during the gospel invitation.

Caught between twelve and thirteen,
I knew the meaning of sin and salvation,
knew there was only one way
to lay aside that ancient burden.

I didn’t discuss it with my mom or my dad
or either of my older brothers;
nothing anyone else had to say
was going to affect me one way or another.

I didn’t quite understand the leading of the Spirit
but during the first chorus that night,
I felt the pulling stronger than ever before,
and wouldn’t resist it anymore.

Halfway through the second verse,
with my heart pounding through my brain,
I stepped out into the aisle,
feeling the eyes following me right up front.

I stood there in front of the preacher
while the congregation finished all four verses,
then answered his questions
with unrehearsed sincerity:

“Yes, I believe
that Jesus Christ
is the Son of God.”
“Yes, I repent of my sins.”

A few minutes later,
we stood there together
in the cold water
of that unheated baptistry.

“Based upon your confession
of Jesus Christ as Son and Savior,
I baptize you in the name
of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.”

In all of life since then,
with marriage, and children, and grandchildren,
more than a few awards and honors,
and a bigger house and more possessions than I ever imagined,

I have never known as great a joy:
rising up out of the water,
goose bumps and shivering
hands quivering,

all my sins washed away
and my name written
by grace through faith
in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

Unworthy then and unworthy now,
I still bow before the throne of God.
His Spirit still leading
and my name still written.


H. Arnett
3/19/2024
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Sunsets & Horse Manure

Sometimes, sunsets seem to sneak upon me,
which upon thinking about it seems rather strange—
it’s not as though the sky tries to hide its change—
half a sky high and wider than the horizon.

This one, though, I’d seen coming for over an hour;
more than a hint in late afternoon sky,
the way the sun sifted through shifting clouds,
an early rehearsal or practice round

As the sun continued sliding toward the ground.
I finished shoveling out a pickup load of compost
onto the yard of maybe the most prominent house in Wathena—
set into a cut on the ridge facing the Pony Express bridge.

I paused twice on my way down the hill,
watching that red-orange glow fill the western sky
and hoping I’d get home in time to watch this one
burn all the way down to the low embers.

I parked the truck up at the house and walked on dormant grass,
past the garage and the cedars to where the view opened.
Beside the shed where the horses are fed,
I stood on the old, creosoted crosstie frame of the compost pit

And watched the sun as it continued its flaming setting,
a blazing show of streaks and seams of color
that reflected even in the eastern sky
and traced platinum rims on the edges of the clouds farthest west.

I felt that old rising in my chest, a swelling of peace and pleasure
that I have known since a child whenever I try to take the measure
of some thing or experience of awesome beauty,
something that makes me breath deep and slow

Taking time for feeling more than knowing,
letting it sooth and settle in me like smelling roses
or the feel of a sleeping baby’s head against your chin
or the soothing of a gentle wind on a hot afternoon.

I stood there, quiet and alone,
soaking up the very sense of heaven—
almost as if I knelt before its throne
with my knees rounded into a mound

of decomposing horse manure—
and yet, somehow, inexplicably pure,
in God’s own presence,
made better by the breaking down,

ready for a better growing,
a deeper knowing,
a greater yielding
to the Seed long ago planted within me.
Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Farming, Gardening, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Poetic Contemplations, Poetry, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Sunsets & Horse Manure