The Blessings of Winter

On a cloudless night,
when the fields are white with snow,
the air is crystal cold
and a full moon rises
high above the trees,

It is easy to believe
that you can see a hundred miles at midnight.

Even vapored breath
catches that light,
curling out, rippling into nothing,
vanishing like old thrills.

On a foggy morning,
when the roads are black with ice
the radio crackles its warnings,
and the silent mist freezes
low and heavy on the trees,

It is easy to believe
that you can feel the weight within your bones.

There is both beauty and danger
in the bleak manger of winter.
The same cold that splinters night
forms the frozen waterfall,
etches ferns on the windows,
yields the splendor of gleaming ice,
curves branches beneath their load of snow.

Miles of wooded hills and smooth fields,
covered by the same coat
that will one day melt and feed
the aching thirsts of spring and seed.

H. Arnett
1/21/19

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Making It through the Tough Spots

Last fall, I heard people talking about what a horrible winter we were going to have this year. “Gonna be the coldest one in years.” “Yep, we’re going to pay for all that nice weather we had earlier.” “They say it’s going to be one of the worst ones we’ve had in the last decade.”

Some folks seem to take some sort of perverse pleasure in telling us just how rotten and awful things are or are going to be.

I don’t remember if the predictions were based on the Farmer’s Almanac, the number of fogs we had in August or by counting the sap rings on wooly caterpillars or what. Whatever it was, I’m relieved to say, it hasn’t started yet. Apart from an early cold snap in November, it’s been one of the mildest I remember. That, of course, is subject to change without much notice. In fact, the weather service is predicting single digit lows for at least one night right here in so-southern-it’s-almost-Oklahoma, Kansas, this weekend. An Arctic frigate is set to sail right through these parts on Saturday.

It’ll come and it’ll go. For all I know, it’ll be back up into the fifties on Monday. Whether the weather matters to a wether* probably depends upon whether it’s wearing a weather-proof coat or not. Sheared too close and away from the huddle, even mild weather seems sort of uncomfortable.

That’s pretty much the way life runs for all of us, I suppose. Wearing the right clothes with the right attitude can get you through a lot of things. For the other stuff, a stout faith and a pair of well-worn knees seems to be the key.

H. Arnett
1/18/19

*A wether is a neutered male sheep.

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Too Many Too’s

Too tired to care,
too old to change,
too late to matter,
too early to tell.

Too fast to stop,
too slow to pass,
too expensive to buy,
too cheap to last.

Too high to climb,
too low to get under,
too wide to go around,
too narrow to go through.

Too busy to listen,
too rushed to talk,
too close to ride,
too far to walk.

Too new to use,
too old to keep,
too bad to lose,
too weary to weep.

Too many to hold,
too few to use,
too hard to win,
too easy to lose.

Too proud to pray,
too scared to try,
too weak to love,
too frail to die.

I don’t know about you
but I think I’ve got too many too’s!

H. Arnett
1/16/19

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Bucky

Aside from all the fun of the teasing when I was growing up, having a lower jaw that was too small has had additional benefits. Although there was no discernible physical or emotional relief when I discovered that I didn’t actually have bucked teeth, it was interesting to discover that my overbite was actually due to the lower jaw being too short. That didn’t do much for my self-concept nor did it bring any relief to the TMJ pain I’d experienced since adolescence.

According to the Mayo clinic’s website, the “temporomandibular (tem-puh-roe-man-DIB-u-lur) joint (TMJ) acts like a sliding hinge, connecting your jawbone to your skull.” Makes sense that most folks just call it “TMJ,” doesn’t it?

I had a tendency to slide my hinge a bit too far, trying to compensate for that half-inch mismatch between my upper and lower incisors. That habit when trying to take a bite of apple or eat corn on the cob or other such circumstances had forced the jaw to pop out of joint on one side or the other. There were a few times when I seriously wondered if it would go back in.

A kind and compassionate maxillofacial surgeon offered to break my lower jaw on each side, pull the front part forward and wire everything back together for only ten thousand dollars back in the late Eighties. I was pretty sure I knew a few people who would happily break my jaw for free so I passed on the opportunity.

I’ve learned to live with the aggravation. I can’t open my mouth more than slightly without the joint popping. Every big bite pops one or both sides and just chewing my food irritates things. Each trip to the dentist for anything more than regular cleaning leaves the joint and jaw muscles pretty sore for a couple of days. Being forced that far open and out of position for a half-hour to an hour-and-a-half leaves a reminder of sorts. That would probably be true whether I had TMJ issues or not.

But the soreness goes away pretty quickly. I don’t eat apples or corn on the cob every day. I learned forty years ago that the beard and mustache provide sufficient distraction that most folks don’t pay much attention to my actual facial structure. Even though I’m reminded of the defect on a very regular basis, I think it’s good to learn to live with one’s limitations. Not every deficiency has to be remedied or relieved.

And most people are far more concerned about how you treat them than whether or not your teeth are perfectly straight and gleaming white.

H. Arnett
1/17/19

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Friday Nights

One of the keys to a great marriage, so I’ve heard, is finding ways to keep the romance fresh and exciting. Special little events that really speak to the heart and show your special someone that she truly is, well, “special.”

That’s why for nearly three decades now I’ve made a special effort at the end of the work week to take Randa to Lowes.

When we lived in Gower, Missouri, we’d head north to Saint Joseph. When we lived in Georgetown, Kentucky, we’d head south to Lexington. After we moved to Blair, Kansas, we’d head east to Saint Joseph. For the past three years, it’s usually south again, to Ponca City, Oklahoma.

There’s just something about those rows of bright fresh lumber, shelves shoved full of screws and fasteners, and that whole department of every type of plumbing supply that tells a woman, “There’s nothing I’d rather do tonight than be with you right here where we are right now.” Admittedly, the concurrent habit of dining out may be a key part of this rich tradition of ours.

And so, last Friday night around nine p.m., in a dark winter rain with the temperature in the mid-thirties, after supper at El Patio and dessert at Lowes, we headed north. Just north of the Blackwell/Kildare intersection I saw a dark form on the shoulder. Some dude dressed in black, walking in the rain, pushing a bicycle along the shoulder.

With no headlights visible in the rearview mirror, I stopped beside him and lowered the window on Randa’s side. “You have a flat tire?” Nope, that wasn’t the problem.

I turned on the flashers and pulled over. Wary of soft ground and hopeful of alert drivers, I kept the car mostly on the pavement. I got out in the rain and walked around. “Where you headed?” Newkirk.

It was dark, cold, and raining. Newkirk was several miles away. I knew I couldn’t fit his bicycle completely into the car without at least partially disassembling it. But I also knew we couldn’t leave a stranger to walk five miles in the rain.

Together, the young man and I loaded the bike into the trunk. It went in far enough that the back wheel and pedals were inside. I figured that if I kept my speed below forty-five or so, the trunk lid would stay down and the bicycle would stay in. It worked.

As we headed on up the road, I asked him if he’d been down to Ponca. “No, I was going to ride down there but I changed my mind.” So, he’d planned to ride a dozen miles in the dark and the rain, apparently without any lights but at some point decided to turn around and push his bike back to Newkirk. He wasn’t the first hitchhiker I’d met whose approach to making sense out of the universe was a bit different than mine. I had to admit, though, that walking on the shoulder without any lights was probably safer than riding on the highway without any lights. Even in the absence of shared illumination, he was pretty clear about where he lived.

The young man guided us downtown and directed us to what looked like an old mechanic’s garage just across the railroad tracks and east of downtown. The small entrance to the side of the big bay door was padlocked. There was no hint of light or life inside or outside. “I don’t have a house; I sleep upstairs here.”

After I helped him retrieve his bike from the trunk, he pushed it over to the building and then opened the door, and rolled his bike inside and disappeared. As we eased into a U-turn and headed back toward the railroad tracks, Randa and I looked at each other. You know that look: the one when you aren’t sure you didn’t just brush up against the near edge of the twilight zone.

It’s not always convenient to help out a fellow traveler but it does lead us all to a better place.

H. Arnett
1/14/19

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Prayer for a Friend

I pray that today,
your heart may be at peace,
that in the greatest—and the least—
of all that faces you,
you may know the wisdom that comes from above;
may it guide you, lead you, teach you.

Do not be afraid
to walk in integrity,
nor too proud
to accept the limitations of situations,
to know that we do not reflect
the Light of Christ
by walking in our own strength,
but rather in his,
which is perfected in weakness, humility and service.

Walk in love,
show mercy,
and return good for evil.
For in that lies true liberation.

Be free, my friend, be free.
Amen.

H. Arnett
1/11/19

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Convision Experience

I remember Dad commenting when one of his younger friends pulled out his reading glasses one day, “Arms got too short, didn’t they?”

At the time I had no idea what he meant. Eventually, though, I figured it out.

Maybe if I was more honest with myself, I would have admitted that I’d taken to holding books and magazines a little farther away. It gets a bit tiring reading the newspaper with your arms fully extended. But the thing that got me to finally admit that I really needing glasses was working on my stepson’s car.

Jay had bought an ’88 Chevy Celebrity from my dad and I was trying to remove an old tape player from under the dash. No matter how hard I tried, or how many contortions I endured, I couldn’t get my head in a position to where I could clearly see the mounting screws. Then it hit me: “the floorboard is too close to the dash.” Then I couldn’t decide whether to get a cutting torch or a portable grinder with a cutoff wheel attached.

Whether by Braille, good luck or sheer stubbornness, I was able to get the tape player out without converting the Celebrity into a Flintmobile. A couple of weeks later, I was in an optometrist’s office in Georgetown, Kentucky. He confirmed what I already knew and I was soon wearing my first pair of bifocals. Anything over three feet away, I could see fine. So, the lower part of the lenses corrected my reading vision and the upper part was plain, clear lens.

Twenty years later, the upper part requires some slight correction and the lower part quite a bit more. Inevitable part of aging, I suppose. Life has a way of making all but the most proud and stubborn of us confront our mortality, our frailty, our need for something greater than what we are and what we can do.

Sometimes it’s something that a twenty-dollar pair of reading glasses can remedy. In other cases it requires something much deeper, more powerful, something mysterious and wonderful. Something that drives us to our knees and leaves us both broken and healed.

That something sometimes comes to us in a quiet and gentle moment. And sometimes it takes something far more compelling than banging your head on the floorboard of an old Chevy.

H. Arnett
1/10/19

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Coasters

Coasters are an interesting thing to me. I’m not talking about the kind that you pay someone else to let you ride so you can simultaneously dislodge anything you’ve eaten in the last twelve hours and jerk a kink in your neck and back that will assure your chiropractor doesn’t miss a payment on her new Chrysler for the next six months. Nor am I talking about that coworker who so skillfully lets everyone else pick up the slack.

I’m talking about those often circular objects that lie about in various homes, offices, restaurants and meeting rooms. I’ve seen them made from a variety of materials: cork, wood, marble, paper, pressboard, tile, leather, glass, cloth, or hand-woven from hummingbird feathers by the indigenous people of Wherever. Okay, just kidding about the hummingbird feathers… Coasters can be simple and plain; they can be ornate and beautiful. Often, like most of us, they’re somewhere in between.

Regardless of the material, method and manner of fabrication, or degree of aesthetic appeal, coasters have a pretty simple job: keep condensation from forming on the surface that they protect. Some of them, like those made from cork or cloth or leather, absorb the moisture. The less porous ones just provide a different surface for it to glob up on. In either case, though, the precipitation is kept off of the tabletop, desktop, countertop or cabinet, or whatever else we are trying to protect.

Thereby, millions of little circle stains and arc-shaped bluish lacquer marks are prevented each year. Expensive tables, priceless heirloom furniture and disposable accent pieces are protected. In much more valuable service, some people in our lives serve as coasters.

They absorb our pain and frustration, soak up our tears and tantrums, block our angst and anger, and provide an emotional demilitarized zone that protects other loved ones, friends and colleagues, and the world at large. By their often undefined and unrecognized role of buffering, they keep our less desirable traits and moments from marring the lives and spirits of others. And sometimes, from ruining our own.

Hopefully, we do not take them for granted but are instead grateful for them. And—at least from time to time—return the favor.

H. Arnett
1/9/19

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The Aftermath of Winter Rain

Sometimes in the aftermath of winter rain
that falls on a sort of warm day on the plains,
while the water seeps through the rocks
and spills down the ditches and into the creeks,
there will come a bit of a cold snap,
a sharp and sudden Arctic leaking
that comes coughing in from the north,
heaves of hard wind sending the temperature
searching for January toward the end of December,
single digit readings and a killing chill.

If you remember to look off to the side
while you’re driving by those low bluffs
and winding cuts that say “enough”
to those miles of prairie pastures
spreading across the Flint Hills,
you might see the frozen spills of ice,
clumps of white sprouting
like the beards of ancient elves,
bulging out slightly from shelves of stone,
the seeping of groundwater caught in slower motion,
spikes and ripples and rolls, clear and translucent,
a descending beauty brilliant in piercing sunlight,
or else gleaming from the shadows,
an unexpected bit of beauty beckoning
from miles square of bare-bladed grass,
caught in the pale tones of summer long past
and waiting for the burning of spring.

There is, even in the bitter fallow of our seasons,
reason enough to believe that the very thing
that aches us to the bone
may become the seeping source of our own
most transcendent moments,
the healing pain by which we gain a greater beauty,
and sends a grace that brings a calming joy—
even in the face of a lancing wind.

H. Arnett
1/8/19

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Non-Selective Memory

By the time I was twelve, my dad was calling me “the absent-minded professor.” Actually, he may have started calling me that when I was nine or ten; I really can’t remember for sure. What I do remember is having earned the description when I was still a relatively young dude.

He would send me to the garage to get some tool and by the time I got to the garage, I couldn’t remember which tool it was. I’d sail out of the house thinking “adjustable wrench” and by the time I’d taken a few steps I’d be thinking “adjustable stools” and how cool it was that you could change the height on the stool. Then I’d think about sitting on a stool and how neat it was to be higher than the people sitting on chairs. With that, I’d launch into thinking about what kinds of trees were higher than others. “Oaks and maples get pretty tall,” I’d think and then I’d remember the hickories and ash trees growing in the bottomland woods and wonder which of them was actually the tallest. Then there was the huge sycamore in the field up near Simmons’ house… By this time I’d be standing in the garage, staring at the tool panel and wondering why on earth I had been sent out to the garage.

So then I’d trot back to the house or milk shed and have to ask again. Usually on the second trip I’d be embarrassed or scared enough to remember. However, at age seven or eight I was not always perfectly clear on the exact distinction between an “adjustable wrench,” a “monkey wrench” and a “pipe wrench.” Sometimes I’d come back with two or three just to be sure I didn’t have to make another trip. When you’re young and full of energy and only a few hundred feet away from the garage, it’s not such a big deal. When you’ve been sent up from the corn field a half-mile away, that’s a whole ‘nother matter.

What would be really useful would be if I could figure out how to selectively use this affliction of mine. If I could forget hurts, insults and disappointments as easily as I can forget where I left Randa’s truck keys, her quality of life and mine would both get a big lift!

H. Arnett
12/31/18

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