Old Burning New

A mound of fine ashes
rounded the shape of what was left
from the burning of the brushpile on Saturday.

After the fire subsided from roar to murmur,
I piled on wheelbarrow loads
of summer-cut weeds and grass,
letting the heat of the thick-embered branches
crackle and smolder the green stems and blades;
overnight was not enough curing
to turn the cutting into tinder.

With each new load thrown onto the heap,
thick smoke curled and lifted
until the edges dried from the heat
and flamed for a moment
and the black stack of what could not burn
grew larger.

Three days later,
in the last light of a muggy Kansas evening,
I raked up the trimmings from a closer mowing
and threw that onto the dead heap
without checking for heat.

In the darkness a half-hour later,
flames lifted from the pile,
embers glowed from deep beneath,
fire stored in the heart of dense branches
held in the smoldering cover
of what could not burn,
leaping out to consume new tinder

like an old wound
nursed with bitterness,
lashing out to destroy
yet another blessing.

Or like an old hope,
almost forgotten,
stirred by some fresh sending
of faith and fate.

It seems strange to me to see both things
but I am sometimes too content
to see only one or the other.

H. Arnett
7/17/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Poetry, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Old Burning New

Taking Back the Good

A ninety-degree morning isn’t really what you look for in a day for burning brush but the pile had grown large and ugly and the air was calm. Within five minutes of me lighting the mess of dead branches, wood scraps and broken limbs, the red flames were lancing up thirty feet high, blacking leaves and shimmying small branches on the elm tree another ten feet higher than that.

Even though the grass, bushes and trees are still green and I was confident there was no risk of the fire spreading, I put a large trash can in the back of the pickup and filled it with water, just in case I found my optimism misplaced or my judgment a bit suspect. When the flames subsided to around ten feet high, I began raking up the long grass from my little reclamation project.

When we first moved here in 2011, the east lawn included three step-down levels and stretched from the house clear over to the tree line, nearly two hundred feet away. With an old small mower and another acre or so of grass that needed mowing twice a week in April and May, I fairly despised the steep banks of the transitions from each level to the next. With two horses and a drought last year, I gladly converted the two lower sections into pasture.

With one horse and ample rain in late spring this year, the grass had grown long and the weeds even longer. While Randa and I were eating breakfast on the porch last Friday, looking at the weeds and the big brush piles, I decided it was time for reclamation.

That evening, I took down the electric fence, pulled up the steel posts and then mowed with the Bush Hog. That left thick rows of heavy grass and weeds, leading me to the raking on Saturday morning. Within thirty minutes, I had blisters on both thumbs from the rubbing of the rake handle, even though I was wearing leather work gloves. Shade gave way to sun and my clothes soaked with sweat. By the time I finished five hours later, the blisters had broken and the skin had torn away.

I’ll have these little reminders for a week or so, but when we sit out on the front porch, we will be looking at trimmed lawn instead of overgrown vacant lot.

At the point of reclamation, regaining control of what has been surrendered is not an easy task. There may be a few blisters and a tired back. Be careful while burning the ugly and then bury the ashes. Work in the shade as long as you can but do not fear the sun. When you are done, there will be rest. And beauty.

H. Arnett
7/16/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Farming, Gardening, Metaphysical Reflection, Spiritual Contemplation, Work | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on Taking Back the Good

Buddies

If the Miners are at church on a Sunday morning, and they almost always are, I can count on a good ending to church. No matter how lean the crowd or how scant the sermon, I can still rely upon a positive note at the close of our worship service, courtesy of one small member.

Brett and Stacey have a little three-year-old boy named Keagan. He and I have a ritual at church each Sunday. After worship is over, Brett goes to the nursery and retrieves Keagan. He’ll lead him through the hallway from the nursery to the sanctuary. As soon as Keagan gets within a few steps of the doorway, he starts running right to me. I bend over and pick him up, give him a lift up high in the air.

Sometimes, I’ll blow on his belly. Sometimes, I’ll swing him around a couple of times. Every now and then, I’ll lift him up and let him slide headfirst down my back. Holding his leg with one hand, I’ll reach the other around behind me and catch him by the shoulder, then pull him headfirst through my legs and lift him up again. Sometimes when I put him back down, he’ll reach up for another turn. Sometimes, he just runs back to his Daddy.

I’m not sure which one of us gets the most out of it but it seems to be pretty even. I know we both enjoy it. Any man who has at least one small child who looks forward to seeing him is a blessed man. And any child who has at least one adult that he can count on for enthusiastic affection is not without hope in this world. Keagan has a lot more than that going for him.

I just hope that he gets too big for me to pick up before he quits wanting me to.

H. Arnett
7/15/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Family, Metaphysical Reflection, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Morning Swims

There was precious little
room for rebellion
on that southern Kentucky farm
that we grew up on
and so Paul and I chose pretty carefully.

He was three years
plus December to May
older than me
which seems a lot less now
than it did fifty years ago.

Back then, in the early bends
of summer mornings
we hid our swimming trunks
in the old tobacco barn
next to the pond.

After the milking
and before the plowing or planting,
the hoeing corn or suckering tobacco,
or the mowing, raking, baling or hauling hay,
we’d slip away for a quick swim.

Only kids could think
that water so cold it turned their lips blue
could be a fun thing to do,
keeping our splashing quiet
and our shivering voices low,

not wanting our parents to know.
But for all we did know,
they were looking out the kitchen window
away up the hill
and having a mighty good laugh

about how cold that water had to be.
There are few things more fun
than knowing more
than your children
think you know.

H. Arnett
7/12/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Family, Farming, Humor, Metaphysical Reflection, Poetry, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

A Confession

I simply don’t have enough faith
to be an atheist:
too much sin and beauty in the world
for me to believe
this all unfurled without so much as a thought.

I simply don’t have enough hope
to think that I can live this life
without the slightest stroke of accountability
to something or someone
Larger than Me.

I simply don’t have enough love
to comprehend that the evil and the good
should spend their time
in such opposite ways in this life
and yet in complete sameness in whatever comes next.

And so I live with this tragic smallness,
trying to give a bit
of what has been given to me,
trying to see and to show
the same good grace that I know,

accepting that sometimes
I will be seen
as more than a bit of a fool,
forgiving and being forgiven,
loving those I’d sometimes rather ignore,

believing that henceforth
there is stored up for me
something more
than dirt and decay,
a passing thought on a rainy day.

H. Arnett
7/11/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Metaphysical Reflection, Poetry, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Praise in Disappointment

As we pulled out of the parking lot in Saint Joseph at nine-thirty last night, the temperature reading was ninety-five. When we went to bed, faint traces of lightning played across the walls. We hoped that the predicted fifty percent chance of rain might bring a good shower during the night. At some point, I heard the sound of thunder, barely loud enough to wake me from my sleep but not close enough to really rouse me.

When I did get out of bed this morning, I went to the window to see if it had rained. The color of the bare dirt along the new retaining wall showed clearly that it had not, at least not enough to darken the ground. Around here, if the ground didn’t get wet enough to change color, it didn’t rain, not really.

But we do have a nice breeze out of the north and the temperature is twenty degrees cooler than it was eight hours earlier and we now have four lovely lavender blooms on the Rose of Sharon Tree. The hostas are blooming along the north side of the house and the roses are nearing their second full flush of the season. The bloom pods of the Asian Lilies are beginning to show a hint of color. The pasture is still green and growing, in spite of this recent heat and lack of rain.

Even when we have not received all that we have desired, there is reason for thanks. A grateful heart sees more good in a single glance than a bitter one sees in a lifetime.

H. Arnett
7/9/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on Praise in Disappointment

A Gentle Summer

We’ve had a remarkably moderate July… up until the last couple of days. We’ve sat out at dusk or dawn, or even both on some days, enjoying coffee in the morning, cold drinks in the evening. The air had been cool and refreshing, a pleasant meshing of light breezes and pleasing shade.

We watched the rabbits easing their way up the edge of the drive, stopping now and then, cautious but hungry. We saw a pair of doves nipping their sustenance from between the blades of grass and gravel. We enjoyed cereal with fresh raspberries picked from the bushes a hundred feet away. Not even the sound of travel on the highway ruined those moments as we sat on lounge chairs or the front steps, conversing with one another, even using words for part of the sharing.

There is a refreshing in such things and times, a pleasant feeding of the heart and the soul. Cool air and the company of a kindred mind is a fine thing on a summer morning or evening. A few moments or an hour or two without the pressing lists. Such a welcome relief from the heat and pressure.

The last couple of days, though, we have found our relief in the convenience of air conditioning. At ten o’clock last night, the air still felt muggy, a sticky, oppressive heat wrapping around us as soon as we stepped outside. It didn’t take long to decide this wasn’t an evening for lounge chairs on the patio, with or without the mosquitoes.

There are simply times when we need to know that waiting a while for what we want will work better than trying to persuade ourselves that it’s already here.

H. Arnett
7/9/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Family, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on A Gentle Summer

The Wind

Some days there’s a soothing presence
that moves in my mind
like a gentle breeze on a hot day,
a slight rustling in the cottonwood
that says “there will be peace and goodness.”

Some days there’s a stirring
that bends the stems,
a deep swaying of a prophet’s heart
that could send him into the very palace
speaking angry and ancient mutterings
of judgment and wrath.

Some days there’s a storm,
a raging of broken branches,
brittle leaves ripped from trees
and sent scattering
across yards and fields,
caught against the black-splintered rails
of untended fences.

Some days there’s a dead silence,
a crippling stillness,
an absence of nearness to anyone or anything,
days when boulders could fall into the abyss
and make not a single ripple.

Those are the days that scare me,
the days when I rely most
on knowing the Hand I cannot feel,
the God Whose Presence does not depend
on my sensing.

H. Arnett
7/8/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on The Wind

Something of Summer

There is something of summer
in these last few days of sun and nineties:
while mowing the pasture
I feel the simmer rising from the ground
and remember high school days
spent hauling hay,
while roofing the new shed
I cannot hold onto the shingle
long enough to shift it into place,
while mowing the lawn
I feel my shirt and shorts
soaked with sweat
and think “this feels like summer.”

But in the evening,
when the neighbor’s tall elms and maples
block the direct of the sun’s sliding into earth,
the air is instantly cooler
and the mornings are even cooler.

I savor this ease,
this sweet relief that comes before
the sapping burn of dog days
and blue haze on gentle hills.

H. Arnett
6/14/13

Posted in Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Poetry, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Something of Summer

Day Fades Into Day

The migraine has eased up enough
that she can get vertical again,
move cautiously.

It’s bending over that really sends it surging
so she avoids that,
sits down ever so slowly
in the lounge chair on the patio.

An evening this lovely
could nearly draw the dead from their graves:
sunset beginning to fade from the sky,
enough wind to chase away flies and mosquitoes
and just enough heat to make the breeze
seem like a really fine thing.

We watch the leaves of the locust dip and dance,
watch the slender crescent of a new moon
brighten in the western sky,
admire the soft lush green of new grass.

We pass another hour
talking about the kids,
remodeling,
a coming trip.

Darkness slips in around us
and we welcome the night and its quiet,
the coming rest and rising to another day,
ready to see and be what the Lord has made.

H. Arnett
6/12/13

Posted in Aging, Christian Devotions, Christian Living, Family, Metaphysical Reflection, Nature, Poetry, Relationships, Spiritual Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Day Fades Into Day