Change of Weather

Somewhere in your mind, maybe,
there was a time like this,
and in a strange way
you can’t remember
if it was just a day or a decade ago.

But you know it was hot like this,
had to be July like now,
or maybe August,
and the heat kept coming in waves,
day after day after day.

But then, one day,
after the thunder and rain,
it came:
a gentle breeze blowing from the north.

The air was suddenly cool and clean
and it seemed like each hour
of that calm cooling
took away another layer
of the tired and ache
that had been dogging you.

And it seems likely as not,
even if you have sort of forgotten
and can’t be completely sure,
you even felt pure on the inside.

You knew that something good and holy
had touched you
and you thought, maybe,
in a place you don’t talk about much:
God himself had kissed your face
and whispered to you,
“This is grace.”

H. Arnett
7/15/14

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From Fear Into Faith

On Saturday, I got a text message from my thirty-four-year-old son, Daniel. He said he’d just taken a ride on the King’s Island roller coaster, Rattlesnake, with his eight-year-old son, Reese. Apparently, it was quite a ride. In my book, anything other than a shuttle launch that starts out with a two-hundred-foot drop is going to be quite a ride.

It reminded me of my first roller coaster fling, which came over twenty years past my eighth birthday. With no idea where the fear came from, other than possibly stemming from a rational brain and watching the terrified expressions on people’s faces, I grew up pretty much terrified of roller coasters. I could barely muster up the courage to get on the Tilt-a-Whirl or the Ferris Wheel. Even the thought of riding a roller coaster brought me to the verge of losing control of bodily functions. It didn’t matter how much my siblings or friends teased, cajoled, mocked, urged or encouraged; I would not even approach the threshold of getting on a roller coaster.

That changed in1985 on a trip to an amusement park in Columbus, Ohio, while I was attending grad school at OSU.

At that time, I had three kids big enough to ride the roller coaster at Wyandotte Lake. I did not want them growing up with the same fear I had. At a point of greater honesty than I prefer, I’d probably have to admit that I didn’t want them to know that I was terrified of roller coasters. So, I bought tickets and all four of us had our first roller coaster ride together. If any of them noticed my white-knucked grip on the safety bar or my excessively rigid posture, they didn’t comment. They were probably pre-occupied with the dips and turns, climbs and drops. They had a blast and I survived without embarrassing myself.

As years passed, I went on to tackle the Timberwolf, Zambesi Zinger and the Orient Express at Worlds of Fun. At the time, the Timberwolf was billed as the world’s largest wooden roller coaster. It should have been billed as the world’s largest chiropractic recruitment. After a ride on that thing with its severe jolting turns, I don’t think there was a single vertebrae above my lumbar region that was still where it was supposed to be.

I never became a roller coaster junkie, speed freak or thrill seeker but I did introduce my children to a pleasure they still enjoy from time to time.

I’m not sure that I’m going to try the new world’s tallest water slide at the Schlitterbahn in Kansas City. But if I do, it won’t be the first time I’ve made myself do something that scared me silly. That’s sort of how I got started helping out hitchhikers.

H. Arnett
7/14/14

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A Mind for Every Season

Two years ago this week, we had to start feeding hay to the horses because the lack of rain had left the pasture brown and dry. It’s not good to have to start feeding hay in July; makes for a really long winter and a pretty big hay bill. If I remember correctly, and I sometimes do, I only had to mow the yard four or five times that whole season.

This year, I’m mowing the yard every four or five days. “El Nino,” according to the online article, keeps moving moisture across the country and a good bit of it has been falling in these parts. We haven’t had any local flooding but the Missouri River keeps flirting with its banks and levees. Of course, we haven’t seen anything like the ten inches of rain that came to northeastern Nebraska and southern South Dakota in one weekend a little while back. California, on the other hand, is still suffering through a multi-year drought and fire hazards.

While it’s been pretty hard here this year to catch the three dry days in a row needed for mowing, raking, curing and baling hay, the good news is there’s tons of it. Yards and pastures, road banks and fields are as green as April here at the threshold of Dog Days. Miles of corn are tasseling and it sure looks like a bumper crop this year. The farmers with lots of corn and no hay would say things are looking mighty good at this point.

It’s hard to find a time or a place where there isn’t some advantage of one kind or another and even harder to find such where there aren’t at least a couple of folks that could see how things could be better. And likely as not from time to time, we count our blessings with a bandaged finger.

It is the nature of this life we live on this planet. Circumstances are pretty much always a mixed bag. Some years are green, some are dry and even in those green years we have tornadoes and hurricanes.

It’s good to carry good memories, give thanks for rain and pray for protection from the storm. And to remember that in most every situation, we can choose to be blessing to others. A glass of cold water won’t end a drought but it can sure ease the pain of a parched throat.

H. Arnett
7/11/14

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Illusions of Healing

I was a bit suspicious on Saturday evening that something wasn’t just right in my attic. Metaphorically speaking, of course, there’s always something a bit screwy in my attic. At this point, though, I’m referring to the literal attic that sits right near the top of our old house, the big empty wooden room that gets hotter than blazes in the summer and colder than frozen britches in the winter. It’s also where the furnace and ductwork for the second floor are located. The same ductwork from which tepid air, not cold air was flowing on Saturday evening. A clue.

The other clue that something wasn’t quite right was the fact that the temperature reading on the little electronic control unit on the wall was eighty-two degrees and the thermostat was set on seventy-eight. Another clue.

Of course, the big clue that set me on the path of discovery leading to the others was the brace of warm air that greeted us when we headed upstairs to bed Saturday night. So, we opened some windows and cranked up the fan. Not great but tolerable.

So as not to be accused of jumping to conclusions and wasting money due to some thermal panic, I held off on calling our heat and air repairman. By bedtime Sunday, the upstairs temperature had climbed up to eighty-five, a bit higher than is comfortable for sleeping in my spoiled life of wanton indulgence. So, we opened the windows again.

What a fine breeze was blowing in from the north! Our house has twenty-five functioning windows and another half-dozen fixed pane units plus three more basement windows. I contented myself with opening only nine of the ones that are designed to open. Within fifteen minutes, the inside temperature had dropped noticeably. By morning, it was sixty-eight degrees in the dining room.

I celebrated by calling Sharp’s Heating & Cooling. The nice lady who answers their calls assured me that Dave would be here the next morning at nine-fifteen. He was. He came and checked the electrical contacts, re-charged the AC unit with refrigerant and washed out the cottonwood seeds that had pretty well sealed the vents around the exchange unit. Even though the air conditioner was working fine then, we left the windows open for another day.

Sometimes, undesired challenges bring us unexpected blessings. It was refreshing to have cool air in July, a very pleasant coming of cool breezes. But I have learned, too, that we often deceive ourselves into believing that a temporary reprieve is a long-term fix. Any time a drug addict quits using for a week or an abusive spouse acts nice for a little while, we try to convince ourselves that the problem is gone. When we ourselves go for a month without slipping back into our old pattern, we want to believe we’re fixed, even though nothing has really changed on the inside.

When it comes to sin, shame and broken lives, moratorium is not the answer. We need more than a brief breeze of relief; we need the winds of change.

We need healing.

H. Arnett
7/10/14

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Lonely Roads, Close Companions

It is late on a Saturday afternoon in mid-June on Alabama’s Gulf Coast. Dan and I say our goodbyes to our hosts for this two-day fishing trip on Dauphin Island. With fresh red snapper and grouper fillets packed on ice, we ease out onto the gravel drive and head toward home.

Less than thirty miles north of Mobile Bay, we make our way west from I-65, leaving Alabama behind us. Soon, we turn north again, finding US-45, which will guide our route all the way to Kentucky.

The coastal flats turn into the gently rolling fields and forests of Mississippi. In sharp contrast to the compressing rush of the interstate, Forty-Five seems almost deserted. In an hour, we meet fewer than twenty cars and only a couple pass us.

I cannot say with certainty, but am all but certain, that this is but a shadow of the traffic that would have been on this highway before I-65 was built. Even on a Saturday evening, the many miles from Mobile to Chicago would have seen carloads of families on vacation and, during the work week, a throng of commuters and commerce. I suspect that the fates of some small towns turned downward when the traveling changed. I can’t help wondering about how the shift shaped places like Buckatunna, Chicora, Quitman, Brooksville, Artesia and Okolona.

Dan and I speculate as to how much of our serenity is owed to the timing of our trip. Regardless, we are sure about how fine it is to practically have the whole highway to ourselves. Every now and then, we see a deer in a field near the road. We talk about Indians and arrowheads, Reese’s baseball game and whether or not kids play better when parents aren’t around. We talk about family history and future plans, about grilling fish and favorite catches. At some points, we share the sort of things that neither of us wants to see in print, things that hinge on a deeper trust.

Pine trees and hardwoods stretch along the road and sunshine passes into dusk. Miles pass by and fade into the growing darkness. We will stop in Tupelo and spend the night, sleep beneath tall magnolias and sweet white blossoms. In the morning, we will rise rested and ready for renewing our travels, grateful for the grace of these moments and the hand that guides us. In the best of our travels, visits such as this become the destination.

H. Arnett
7/9/14

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Reflections from a Mountain Meadow

Among the sand and shards
of these thin soil mountains
stretching themselves into hard air,
a dozen different blooms
share the space around the bases
of birch and aspen above Fremont Lake.

Something much like rose moss
bends its red stems upward,
petals pinched against the stalk,
balking in the cool morning air
and waiting for the stare of sun to open.

Along the run and rush
of a cold mountain stream in Snowy Pass,
seams of snow continue shrinking in the shadows,
feeding the plummet and plunge of pure water
tinged with winter’s ash
and the long, slow smolder of decay.

The meadow beside the creek teems with blooms:
yellows, whites, blues
and the strange black hue of small-petaled clusters
opening on limber stalks
beside lichen-splotched blocks of granite.

Three-inch ferns unfurl beneath the overhanging curl
of a sloping, scalloped drift beneath the spruces,
seeking their own uses beside rotting logs
in a meadow so rich with growth
that even the air smells green.

Whether in arid places or spaces of standing water,
things are made to grow,
to lift their burden of life to the sun,
and when they are done,
to plant themselves in the gift of dying.

H. Arnett
7/8/14

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The Disappearing Antelope

I am no expert on pronghorn antelopes, my experience being completely limited to chance encounters on my recent trip to Wyoming. From Laramie to Pinedale and back, I estimate that I saw between eighty and a hundred of the critters. So as not to contaminate my views with those of persons who quite likely know a great deal more than I do, I have not read anything about them or made any attempt to converse with others, excepting the chance conversations Randa and I had about the pronghorn. I offer the following, therefore, as my own observations from a vehicle moving between seventy-five and eighteen miles an hour:

1) They are vividly marked yet somehow can completely disappear in an endless field of sage and sand as soon as you lift a camera. It’s uncanny and no doubt a critical survival skill.

2) They each carry a large white pillow attached to their rear end. Apparently the life of antelopes involves an awful lot of falling on their butts and the Good Lord has seen fit to provide them with this protection.

3) The antelope has but three mental/emotional states with an accompanying physical pose for each.

The antelope, while grazing (assuming that eating sagebrush is appropriately called “grazing”), is completely indifferent to the entire hemisphere about him or her. He or she will browse about, happily munching without lifting his or her head at all. In this state, I can imagine an antelope stumbling off the edge of a cliff or plummeting over the utter edge of the earth, which I constantly suspected must be in very close proximity during the entire time that I was driving through Wyoming’s less densely populated parts. “Less densely populated” referring to anything beyond city limits.

When the antelope is not grazing, she or he is perpetually completely astonished and transfixed by some phenomenon completely obscured to human vision. She or he will stand in absolutely rigid pose, head chiseled in place, eyes riveted upon some distant disturbance in the universe: “Hey, I think that’s a sage bush on the side of that mountain about eighty miles away,” or “Did that rock just move? I think it moved. Did you see it move? I’m going to watch it for a few hours just to be sure.”

In their third mental state, the antelope has concluded that the camera is a nuclear weapon, or the rock is about to leap up and swallow it from six hundred yards away or there is fresher sage on the other side of the Continental Divide. In any of these cases, or perhaps all of them at once, the antelope runs in a completely unpredictable manner, leaping over tall fences and across entire canyons without any visible effort.

Even though I have already told you everything of significance there is to know about the antelope, I really do recommend that you go and see for yourself. You will gain incredible respect for my powers of observation and, if you carefully disguise your camera as large boulder or small sage bush, or better yet, as a large boulder surrounded by sagebrush, I personally guarantee that you will probably get dozens of pictures that almost have antelope in them.

H. Arnett
7/3/14

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Climbing Into My Father’s Lap

In the vicinity of the Three Cathedrals in the Grand Tetons National Park, we find the trailhead at String Lake and set out for a short hike. Earlier this morning, we rode on horseback across Pacific Creek and up a mountainside for some pretty nice views of the mountain range. The weather has changed during the day in what we are told is its typical pattern for this time of year. The morning chill has turned into afternoon warmth.

Signs at the trailhead warn of bears but there are no vendors nearby offering pepper spray nor do we have any bells. We decide to take our chances and cross the footbridge over the creek and head into the trees, following the trail. The air is clear, humidity low. I finish a granola bar and Randa sips from her water bottle. We have taken to heart admonitions to stay well hydrated to prevent altitude sickness. So far, it has worked well for us. I still remember vividly the headache I got in Breckenridge several years ago when I did not know about the hydration factor.

The remedy itself has side effects but this area is filled with trees and bushes and there are very few hikers. After a last “rest stop” in the lowlands around the lake, we cross the creek again and walk out of the trees.

The mountain base rises up to the northwest, a half-mile of sage and rocks with a few large boulders scattered around. On the ridge above us, I see what looks like a post with a box fastened to it. “Curious place to get your mail,” I muse silently.

“Let’s hike up the side of this hill,” I suggest and Randa agrees to the challenge even though there appears to be no trail. Bright sun and thin air conspire against her, though, and before we’ve made it more than a fourth of the way up, she is beginning to feel nauseous. “You go on,” she says with conviction, “I’ll wait here.” I hesitate, reluctant to leave her alone but eager for the climb. She looks at me again, “Go on.”

Two hundred yards farther up the slope, the hill gets noticeably steeper but I find a trail. Sweating and breathing heavily, I stop for a quick breather and look back down the hill. I wave to Randa as she is sitting on a large boulder, watching me hike. String Lake lies to my left and Jenny Lake to my right. Farther north, the longer expanse of Jackson Lake stretches its blue reflections along the valley. I climb higher following the trail, then rest again. Soon after my third breather, the trail cuts back away from the post I have chosen on the ridge as my goal. I step into the loose thin soil and gravel that serve as base for the sagebrush.

Back at the lake, I’d picked up two pieces of dead branches, one just over a foot long and the other about eighteen inches. I have been hitting them together as an improvised noisemaker to keep any bears from being surprised by my presence. It has occurred to me that they might find the noise merely interesting and be moved to investigate but I try to keep that thought out of my mind. Whenever I near a tree or large bush, I hit the sticks harder together. At this point, though, in the relative open and on the steepest part of the slope, I find another use for the sticks.

I begin using them as climbing aid, jabbing each into the ground and using them for additional traction in a technique that must resemble crawling more than walking. It seems undignified but effective. Not only does it keep my feet from slipping out from under me on the steep terrain, in just a few minutes I have gained the top of the ridge.

My marker post turns out to be a tall stump about eight feet tall, all that is left of an old tree with a large circular piece missing on one side about four feet up from the ground. I walk up past it and look beyond the ridge, toward the mountaintops. In spite of the sweat and the soreness in my legs, I feel a sense of exhilaration. I find that I am now standing above the level of the snow that blankets the side of the mountain and fills the gaps. I can hear the pounding of the melting runoff as it cascades down the rocks and pours into an incredibly clear glacial lake trapped in between this ridge and the higher mountain.

I turn back toward the way I came and realize I have probably underestimated the distance I had to climb to reach this point. I cannot even see the boulder on which Randa is sitting. The lakes seem small below me. I can barely see the wake of a boat motoring across Jenny Lake. The broad valley floor stretches out for miles. I see the faded peaks of the Wind River Range far away. At my feet, wildflowers bloom in the June spring of the Wyoming terrain. I cannot describe the joy, the intensity, the excitement and the strange way they all blend into an incredible peace.

I am sixty years old but I feel like I am young again, a child stroking the face of God.

H. Arnett
7/2/14

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Thresholds of Experience

My previous experience with the mountains of the West was limited to a rental car ride from the Denver airport to Breckenridge, Colorado, in early November several years ago. That was a fine introduction but it in no way did justice to the opportunity.

Last week, Randa and I used the same starting point but drove north through Fort Collins toward Laramie. We stopped for a late lunch at The Forks, a small store, deli and saloon a fairly short drive from Fort Collins. The sandwiches were surprisingly fresh and tasty and we lingered for a while at their upstairs outside dining area, taking in the view.

Soon after that, we encountered some spectacular boulder formations. Giant rocks, many reddish in color, rose in jumbled grandeur above the high desert floor near the roadway. At one section, the great stones rose into a high plateau, ringing a ridge a mile away and framing the route. In a few places, gorges cut through the formations, adding depth and mystery as they wound along their deeply cut paths and disappeared. A line of distant mountains rose to the west, peaks still capped with snow and glowing in the afternoon sun.

Passing the state line, we moved beyond the near hills and entered the vastness of the high plains of Wyoming. Miles of sage and grass passed by us on either side. On Interstate Eighty, we stopped at the Wagonhound rest stop between Laramie and Walcott. Small patches of Indian Paint Brush stroked their reds against the sand and grit. Tiny blue wildflowers added their colors along with the whites of yet some other blossom. The smell of sage sifted the wind and stirred old memories for Randa, who lived near Big Piney many years ago.

We walked beyond the rest stop asphalt and stood at the wooden rails bordering the area on the south. Distant mountains fringed the wild range with faded blues and muted grays, yet still with that capping of white. We could see the telltale drifts of distant rain, vertical trails of slatted blues showing the seams between clouds and earth.

As we stood on the ridge and looked across the millions of acres spreading as far the eye could see, I understood more in that instant than in a lifetime of hearing about Big Sky Country. The Vastness that spreads far beyond us in this universe and yet somehow includes us is not comprehended in the stories of others; it is known when we venture to experience it for ourselves and pass from awareness to belief.

H. Arnett
7/1/14

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A Disturbing Light

In the passing of a late evening storm,
an unexpected light formed all around us
as rain and thunder ended in the clearing
of the western sky;
the off-white of porcelain in the upstairs bathroom
turned a pale blue in the hue of reflections
coming through the window.

A strange brightness grew outside,
changing the colors of stem and shade,
of grass and gravel.
We marveled at the altering
and went outside in search of understanding.

The ground around us seemed unfamiliar,
an eerie cast of color transforming the nature
of what we believed we knew
should be the way things are
in the usual ending of day.

As people often do
when they cannot understand things,
I looked up toward the sky.

One long low cloud directly overhead
caught the light of an absent sun
and became a sun of sorts,
sending that reflected light all around us,
a transcending brightness at the time
when we expected long shadows
and a settling darkness.

The damp gray of the long stone wall
bordering the slope beyond the patio
turned a deep dark red in the glow.
In the changed reflection of a different Light,
all that we know might change into something brighter,
something far richer than what we had perceived.

H. Arnett
6/20/14

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